There are always fun traditions you enjoyed as a child that you are eager to share with your children. Like waiting for Santa at Christmas. Or greeting Easter morning with a basket full of goodies. These wonderful traditions are more complicated when you have a child with autism.
Last night, we finally pulled a loose tooth for Daniel. We've been explaining the tooth fairy to him for the last couple of days. Instead of being excited about losing his tooth and exchanging it for money, Daniel was dismayed. He's lost his bottom teeth and each time was sad. He seemed to believe he was losing pieces of himself that he couldn't get back. Each time we explained that old teeth had to go, so new teeth could grow. It didn't seem to matter.
When the tooth fairy came last night and Daniel woke up to money instead of a tooth, he asked for his tooth back. When I told him he had to give up the money, he didn't really want to do that either. He wanted both. I explained he couldn't have both. After thinking on it for awhile: money for toys or candy vs an old, broken tooth? Daniel chose the old, broken tooth. He couldn't stand the thought that something that was his was out there somewhere, and he didn't know where.
At first I felt like the joy of a longtime childhood tradition was gone. Taken away by the autism that is such a factor in Daniel's life. Then I realized that, like other things, the Thomas' would have to do things a little differently. We can make allowances. We can adjust. Autism doesn't have to win every battle.
Tonight I think the Tooth Fairy will come again to the Thomas house. He will be generous enough to leave the tooth and the money. Perhaps in a special container that Daniel can use for the future. Life lessons about giving up something in exchange for something else can wait. After all, the true joy of a childhood tradition is really the JOY.
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